Even If
by IgnorantVaccine
Summary: Even if the person we loved the most dies, if that person leaves a deep enough impression, our subconscious will remember and hold desperately to that which was dear to us. TobiDei fluff. Spoiler Warning. Full Summary inside.


A/N: This is a new project I'll be working on, inspired greatly by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Everything will be tremendously confusing (or I'll try to make everything as confusing as possible). I'm going to have to ask you to be patient though, as I'll only write this when inspired. No, I'm not abandoning '444', I just wanted something else to write, a sort of fluffy counter side to the latter. Without further ado, here goes:

**DISCLAIMER: **I'll never own anything Naruto related. If I did, everyone would come out the closet.

**Rated**: PG-13

**Summary:** Even if the person we loved the most dies, if that person leaves a deep enough impression, our subconscious will remember and hold desperately to that which was dear to us. After Deidara's death, Tobi's been having strange dream-like sequences of his Sempai saying things he never thought possible. Are these genjutsus? Or just a part of his mind trying desperately to hold on?

………………………………

The rain fell harshly all around Amegakure, forcing its people indoors. Of course, they might be indoors due to fact that the Angel of God had given the order from Pein himself to stay in and make no attempt to leave, as it seemed something was amiss.

Tobi watched the rain uninterested, sitting in the bed that had been given to him, knowing well the rain's true purpose. In a few hours time, he would leave for The Valley of the End. Everything was going accordingly, if not excellent. He lay down, looking at the ceiling, a small piece of him bored and impatient.

That small part was also saddened. His sempai, the artist Deidara, had killed himself with his… 'Art'. As Uchiha Madara, he could care less for the death of anyone. As Uchiha Obito, the death of a friend was something heavy, sticky, like mud you couldn't wash from under your nails. As Tobi, his heart clenched and screeched.

The word 'partners' for them, could be interpreted as something deeper. Most Akatsuki members made alliances with their partners, or attempts at bearing with whom they had been partnered. Deidara, however, was different.

It was no secret to anyone in the organization that there had been something between the Clay Artist and the Puppet Master. He'd joked about his death and made rude jokes about it, going on about Sasori's contradictory death.

_An unimportant and idiotic death_.

But his Sharingan was not fooled. There was a small pang of hurt in Deidara's eyes. It was there, small, almost unnoticeable. After three weeks however, the strange shimmer died out.

The brunette felt himself getting drowsy. Perhaps the same would occur to him. Maybe he'd rid himself of the memories of his Sempai, slowly, little by little. Or maybe, they'd drift away and vanish, like smoke.

His eyes felt heavy, and every blink made it harder to keep his eyes open. He supposed he could take a light snooze. The rain kept going on, the pitter patter a now soft and distant sound. Pein would contact him if needed be.

………………………………..

Tobi watched a blonde man turn, with skillful hands, a lump of clay slowly into a beautiful bird. He blinked. Hadn't… hadn't he been in Amegakure? But this all seemed so real.

_Déjà vu_

"What the hell are you looking at, un?" the blonde spat, stopping his work and turning his head to look at Tobi with an angry blue eye. "Get out!"

Tobi blinked and turned to leave. He placed his hand on the door and bitterly wished he'd actually stayed that time.

"I wish you'd stayed…" he suddenly heard. Tobi's eye widened behind his mask at the comment. He rapidly turned to watch his Sempai turn fully in the chair and look at him directly. "But you didn't. You were a moron and you left me alone, un."

He watched wordlessly as Deidara got up, wiping his wands on a towel. But… there weren't any tables anywhere… and he hadn't seen that towel. So then..?

"If you'd stayed… maybe I would've been nice to you. I really wanted you to stay. I was all alone at that time, un. Why did you go?" Deidara said, looking at the floor, holding the towel n his hands. He threw it carelessly to the floor.

"This is a dream, right?" Tobi asked, raising his hand and motioning it to the room. It seemed… strange. The room had been dark and humid. Now, it was lightened by a lone lamp.

"Do you want it to be a dream?" his Sempai asked, raising his lone eye to stare at him. There was no malice in the question. No sarcasm. No anger. Just him and his Sempai in the room where he'd seen him for the first time.

_Liked him for the first time._

Tobi looked around at the room, then back at Deidara. He walked towards him, scratching the back of his neck. "Then, maybe it's a genjutsu? I mean, it feels too realistic to be a dream."

The blonde crossed his arms and looked at Tobi. "And what makes you think I know? All I know is I like it here. It's pleasant and nice. Nice is good, un"

"It is? Wait, are you Sempai's ghost living in my subconscious?" he suddenly asked, the idea springing from nowhere and giving him some sort of false hope.

Sempai merely shrugged, his gaze unwavering. "Why _did_ you go?" he repeated, suddenly reaching out and grabbing Tobi's gloved hand, swinging it like a child would.

Tobi bit his lower lip, watching his arm go to and fro. "You said 'Get out'… but you said it like you were mad at me. So I left. I did like Sempai told me to."

"But you never listened when I told you to die, or to leave me alone, or to stop bothering me. What was so different that time, un?" The swinging stopped. Deidara looked at him with curiosity. It was so unlike him.

"I... didn't know you that well. And you glared at me, like you knew that I had…" he stopped there. He gave an exasperated sigh and pulled his hand away. "Why am I even telling you this? I mean, you're dead, and I'm asleep. This is pointless."

"How pointless is this? If you really thought that, wouldn't you have woken up a long time ago, un? You can do at least that, can't you?" Deidara answered nonchalantly, pacing slowly around the room, never taking his eye off Tobi.

Tobi turned around and placed one hand on his hip, the other grabbing at his hair. "You know what? You're right, this is nonsense, I'll just wake up and-" And then his Sempai was hugging him from behind.

"You sound stressed." He murmured. The hug, somehow, was gentle, relaxing. "Why can't you just chill? If you _are_ asleep, then isn't this a nice dream? You should enjoy it, un."

The masked man closed his eye. All of a sudden, he didn't want to wake up. He turned around, about to ask something else, but stopped.

The room was empty.

"Sempai?" he called. There was no answer. "Sempai?!" he called out louder. He blinked and found himself in a black abyss, the only light coming from where Tobi was spotlighted. He began running, looking desperately around.

"Sempai!" he yelled, running faster and faster. Gasping for breath, he stopped and screamed in frustration.

……………………………….

Tobi awoke with a start and was met with the ceiling. He was panting, gripping the bed sheets with a little too much force. Blinking owlishly, the brunette got up, cleared his throat and looked around, trying to sense some other chakra signature. Perhaps, it _had_ been a genjutsu. It's felt too real to be a dream. Yes. That was the logical option. Whoever it was, he would make sure to kill the bastard.

There was none.

……………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: Well then, first of a several. If you have any specific ideas about memories that Dei and Tobi would have together (nice, bad, whatever you want), I'd appreciate them. By the way, I need a beta-reader for both '444' and 'Even If'. Toodles.


End file.
